- Numb - [05 Apr 2005|08:31pm] [ mood | emotionless ] Do you ever feel numb. Just completely numb with anything you do. Your not happy or sad, just numb. You don't know what you feel, so you sit there trying to feel something you remember you once felt about someone or something, trying to hold on to that feeling as long as you can until you lose reach of it. So you walk down the halls, sit in your room, or drive down the road trying to remember, trying to feel, trying to remember, but you can't, you're frozen and you can't escape it. dance with me

- Working Girl - [01 Apr 2005|08:30pm] [ mood | hopeful ] Tonight I have to go back to work, it's been so long. Considering I took off three weekends before my vacation to spend time with Anthony. So we will see how this goes, I bet there are a ton of new people. I just know I'm gonna get all this attention when I go and I'm not in the mood for attention, I can really careless about it actually. Hopefuly today I can get the things I need to get done before I have to work. Jessica is having a fondu party and I have been trying to call her back to let her know I can't make it, but oh well, I'l try again today. Yeah well today is the first of the month and considering my start of the new year didn't go very good even though I thought it was, maybe it did start off good and now it's alittle rocky. But yeah let's just say it's "rocky" right now and hopefully this month won't be the same as last month. It's a fresh new start. This entry really has no purpose, just an update and a prayer that I hope this month goes by smoothly and fate doesn't bring me down. Maybe it's not so much fate, but more of my decisions that twist fate around in the wrong direction. Or it could be the right direction and I'm cursed. Either way, I just hope this month, next month, this summer...all goes well. dance with me

- As Hollow As A Drum- [31 Mar 2005|08:28pm] [ mood | hurt ] Love? What is it? What serves it's purpose? Why do people fall in and out of it? Why does it exist? Why do people say " you haven't experienced life until you have experienced love, " why do they say that, when in the end all you end up doing is getting hurt? Why is the timing always off? Why don't people mean what they say? Why don't people say the things they should? Why do the people you love end up leaving you? I'm sick of taking chances on people and on my emotions. Even though my intuition is telling me not to, I take the jump anyways because I think it's worth it. But I've come to the conclusion that it's not anymore. I know a guy, a great guy, a guy that made my knees weak, made me loose my breath when i was near him, and made my heart beat faster than the rhythm of a drum all in one month. I have known this guy longer than a month and it never crossed my mind that he would have the kind of effect on me like he had certainly did. I'm empty without him..I feel as hollow a drum. I feel trapped, he put me in this trap...no he didn't put me there...I put myself there and now I feel like I'm never going to get out. As if I had fallen into the darkness and I can't find the light. I don't like feeling this pain, it hurts to much. I want to be happy again. I want him out of my mind and out of my heart. When he's not with me I fall in this deep state of depression, but when I hear the sound of his voice or feel the touch of his hand my eyes light up and that pain is wiped away from my body and I feel alive. He's the only guy that makes me feel weak and strong at the same time, the only guy that can make me happy and sad at the same time. The only one I can love and hate at the same time. I love him with all my heart and I hate that I do because the love I have for him is so strong it hurts and I don't want to hurt anymore.... dance with me

[27 Jan 2005|09:12pm] [ mood | blah ] I was bored, even though I have reading to do and decided to take some quizzes for the heck of it...here are some results: Take the quiz: "What High School Stereotype Are You?" Normal You're normal. You don't quite fit into a label, you just are.Congratulations on being boring and plain. Take the quiz: "What Type of Flirt are You?" Silly Flirt So, did you hear the one about the funny flirt? You probably have, because it's you! Being a Silly Flirt, you know that laughter is often the quickest way to someone's heart. Your conversations with potentials are always peppered with the latest jokes and catchphrases, and you'll do anything including humiliating yourself to get the object of your affection to crack a smile. Just make sure that your quest for yuks doesn't blind you to other flirting approaches. You don't want to be stuck in pal purgatory. Sometimes a soft brush on the arm or a lingering look wins more points than even the funniest story. We're not saying you need to jum Take the quiz: "What piercing are you?" Lip You're not one of the popular kids, but who cares? you like it that way. you would rather die than be part of their crowd. you may doubt yourself at times but you know you're cool! Take the quiz: "What Colour Is Ur Love Life??" passionate purple u LOVE love and getting swept off ur feet! for u, life rite now is about sampling many flavours. but u might be passing up a great guy without knowing it. ask friends for outside opinions on ur love life if u need sum perspective about mr. right Vs. mr. right NOW. they'll help u know wen to get serious. Take the quiz: "What Disney Princess Are You?" Ariel You can swim, flip, dive and be one with fish...WHY DO YOU WANT MORE? Take the quiz: "Which God or Goddess are you?" God of Darkness Seductive and, whether it's ture or not, HOT! You don't mind using what you got to take advantage of people, and you know you got it. You don't care what people think of you and wear your sexual orientation on your sleeve. You are the second piece to the ultimate divine being, combining darkeness with light makes the world live. Take the quiz: "Why do you cry?" Your afraid of rejection You afraid of what people might think of you, they might think you nothing but trash, or your just gonna end up on the streets when u get out of high school. You afradi to be diffrent from other people, and try something new. Take the quiz: "What clothing store are you?" Abercrombie & Fitch You cute and fashionable..your not afraid to splurge if it means you gonna look hott! Take the quiz: "Are you naughty or nice?" Your naughty......once and a while. Your fun, and lively, but know how to controll tourself. You've done some bad things, but hey! We can forgive you, right? Take the quiz: "What Type of Alcohol do you resemble?" Mixed Drinks You are Party Drinks! You're crazy in other words. You like to go out drinking with friends to parties, bars, or clubs, and seldom drink alone. You like to try all sorts fancy and exotic drinks, which is probably why you end up so drunk. You like to be part of the crowd and to have a drink in your hand. You're not TOO much hassle to take care of and you're fun to be around. Yay for you! Take the quiz: "what type of random are you?" real randomness! you have mastered the art of randomness! you only say truley random thing and not just to make your friends llaugh but because you can dance with me

[24 Jan 2005|09:30pm] [ mood | -lost, confused...the works ] [ music | Center Stage Soundtrack ] It was so unexpected..yet deep down I knew it was coming. I am so confused and lost right now it's unbelievable. Apart of me thinks I am in love. Yes I said it....in love. I bet you would never think those words would come out of my mouth, right? It's so hard to explain. I think you realize how much you truly love someone when you know you are going to loose them and lets just say I'm going to loose someone I love so unconditionally. Yes, this little scenerio can be because 1. I could be emotional 2. just got over once a month routine 3. stressed....etc. I guess it could be alot of things, but just these past few days...I got to know a person...a person I've known for so long, yet I haven't. There is the mystery behind him and maybe it could be my curiousity. I've loved this person forever, yet kept it a secret. Some things are just better left unsaid, but I don't know how I'm going to let him go. I don't want to, I never want to let him go and the worst thing is I won't be there. I won't be there when he leaves...when he's gone. I'll be stranded in the middle of the ocean on some boat. On second thought, I don't know how I'm feeling or what I'm feeling. I just know I'm feeling alot at once and I don't know what to make of it...... dance with me

[23 Jan 2005|07:36am] [ mood | blah ] I was really bored and took a bunch of quizzes: Hey guys I took this quiz on "Which Classic Pin Up Are You" and this is my result...i guess....I'm " Brigitte Bardot" Though I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?" Romantic Kiss Lying in bed after making love and just doing whatever. Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have?" Scared Your eyes are scared. Your eyes are scared of pain, or rejection. You know how much it hurts to lose someone u cared for, but in return they dumped you like a sack of potatoes! Someday you will find your special friend, or lover, so dont stay hidden too much. You have also seen much misery when it comes to guy too, so you pefer to keep it safe, and keep your heart locked up from everyone guy that seems to be interested. You dont wanna go through anymore pain.... Take the quiz: "Which Care Bear are you?" Tender Heart Bear Tender Heart Bear is your bear. When it comes to your friends you always lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on and have open arms for anyone that needs a simple hug. when it comes to who are you at school you are constaly surrounded by people that love you!! But sometimes you are sad and don't always let people comfort you as you do them maybe you should try to open up for them as they do for you!! dance with me

[19 Jan 2005|09:00pm] [ mood | blank ] When I first found out, it was hard to believe....how could I have been so blind? Not to notice that about a former classmate. The fact that she walks through the halls with the look of guilt in her eyes. Seven months...seven months.....seven months pregnant. Whether it is a stupid rumor or not, how can a fifteen year old girl be capable of doing such a thing? How can you just give yourself to someone at such a young age and be ready for it all at the same time. It is scarey to think about it. The scarey thing is because of her stupid and terrible mistakes she has a child growing inside of her, when she's still a child herself. Doesn't she realize that....that she's a child? That we all are, no matter how stubborn and big headed we are. When we are young we think we can take on the world, that anything we come across we can handle. I'm sure she thought that, or she just didn't think at all. We are so eager to be adults so quick because we want to enjoy the luxurious things they have so fast we forget....we forget how old we really are and because we are that age there are certain ways we have to act. I'm scared for this girl and at the same time I'm not....at the same time I'm bitter about her, about her decision. How could she not have enough sense? She has her whole life to have sex and she had to choose now? Why? Why, when it's so risky, not that her whole life it wouldn't be risky, but at fifteen. Now her life is ruined. Unless she hurts herself, the baby, or gives it up for adoption....but doing any of those things...she will have to live with that sin and guilt her whole life. Every mother she sees, every child...that guilt will live heavily upon her chest. I guess I just view it in a different way. Having sex...that's a scarey thing for me, I'm petrified. Sometimes I'm not though, sometimes I think I can do it and I would be fine. Then I think, I mean I really think about it and my stomach starts to hurt and my heart starts to race. It's such a scarey thing and you have to be ready for it. I think it's such a special, personal thing between two people. That it's has such an emotional affect on you, having somebody else inside of you, having somebody else see you completely bare....I hate looking at myself in the mirror sometimes, let alone have somebody else staring me down. Somebody who can be creating a child with you and you don't even know it, it just happens..unexpected. Don't you want to do that with someone you love, I mean you really love? Someone you think you are going to have a future with. I mean really, people in high school think they are in love all the time...mostly the girls. High school girls are the dumbest girls alive, I swear I admit, I can be pretty stupid sometimes. But they all think they are in love, that they meet a guy and it's love. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some people fall in love in high school, but it's not likely. LOVE - love is about time, patience, sacrifice, trust, hope, faith....it's not about a make out session here or there, flowers, candy, someone saying " i love you." It's not about that. It's not about what you say, it's about what you do....those big gestures you make. People throw those three words around like juggling three balls. It's ridiculious. I don't even know if people know what love is anymore, it's so rare to find now and I'm to afraid to look. But then again, I'm to young to be looking for love. I just hate the mistakes girls make, it almost feels like they are letting me down because I'm a girl myself. All these years men have overpowered us and now we are coming back. We are growing strong and when girls do shit like this, I feel weak...I feel the whole idea of a woman is weak. That when we stand up, we are just getting pushed back down...... 2 danced with me| dance with me

[14 Jan 2005|09:00pm] [ mood | sick ] Today was awful. For some reason this week it's been...awful, good, and now awful. I feel so sick...my bones ache, my throat is dry, i am so fricking warm, and my head hurts like a mother. To top is off it's a three day weekend and I have to work tonight and tomorrow and possibly sunday. I don't have time for anything anymore and it's not like I can take off work because if I do that, then I can't do anything with friends. So might as well deal with work. Well we'll see how that goes, I'm praying to God that it is slow tonight...... dance with me

[13 Jan 2005|08:59pm] [ mood | bouncy ] Today went pretty good, I was excited. Nothing went wrong and I was highly surprised considering this week hasn't been going that good. I was in just a good mood and I still am, I just cherished every moment I had today and it was great, everything was great. I'm kinda pissed though because I have to work all weekend....grrr...it sucks, hopefully it is slow so I can get off early and I'm gonna try to get out of working on Sunday. It's a 3 day weekend, I mean come on, right? I miss my friends, I haven' t had time to hang out with anyone, this weekend definently. Hopefully. Okay well not much more went on besides that. From my previous entry, the person I was talking about...we both decided to take the jump together and everything went good today and I'm praying that it will be like this all the time. I love how things work out sometimes. You always think the outcome is gonna come out bad because at times it usually does, but then you have those moments when just everything is great. dance with me

- You Can't Wait Forever - [11 Jan 2005|08:58pm] [ mood | embarrassed ] Do you ever hate yourself? Hate your habits, thoughts, personality....just the way you are and it's to hard to change yourself..it just comes naturally. How you can give someone everything you have, but have them take you for granted. Your heart, time, faith, love....you give it all away to the people you care about. Everything that you do doesn't mean a thing to them and they don't realize how good you've actually been to them. I hate that, it makes me feel so stupid and humiliated that I went out of my way for someone or that I go out of my way for people to make things better, when I know they would never do that for me. I question who my real friends are simply because it seems like in every situation I'm the one going to them...I'm the one trying to make the situation better...but it ends up blowing up in my face. I've never had someone truely go out of their way for me, like i do everyday. I bend over backwards to make people happy and I'm sick of it. I'm done. I just want to be able to sit back and not worry, not care, not try to make things better...just have people come in and out of my life without any explanation and not have it phase me at all. That you try your hardest to make things right, but then you find out your the blame for why things went wrong. Then you don't know what to do, all you do is feel stupid and embarrassed for even trying, for even caring, for even waiting! The honesty and trust you thought you once had has faded and you feel like you can't get it back. That everytime you look into that person's eyes you feel them lying in their stare. I'm sick of waiting and trying to figure things out because no one has enough balls to come up to me and tell me the real deal. I'm sick of wondering...wondering what's going to happen....why things happen...what's even going on. Then what you thought would never happen, that you thought that person already faded you out into the back of their mind, they speak. They say a few words, that sounds like they care, but deep inside you think they're lying. So you go along with it, wait for them....because you need to know..the curiousity is killing you and you want to know so bad how they feel because for the first time your hoping this time it will be complete honesty and you can end this once and for all if it needs to be ended...or if it's a start to a new beginning. I can't wait forever, and the timing was just right....because I was about to give up....i was so close to completely letting go, but I had to latch back on.... dance with me

[09 Jan 2005|08:57pm] Why are people the way they are? That they go through life thinking about themselves and the pain and suffering they have gone through which doesn't amount up to half the things people are going through around the world. Yet those people try, they try to survive and live their life and they go through so many hardships you would have thought they had killed themselves already. People in america...especially teenagers have to much time on their hands to think about themselves and what they have gone through, which again doesn't amount up to what other people go through in a day that you wouldn't experience in a life time. It's pathetic and stupid. That's why teenagers drink, do drugs, eating disorders,or cut themselves....and oh yes for the grand finale...KILL themselves. It's so pathetic and they are so dramatic. I never thought a high school experience which doesn't involve torment, bulling, teasing, unpopularity, bad grades, or not having a boyfriend would make high school so bad. I mean aren't those the things that make high school suck? Well I never thought someone who doesn't experience those things would lead to the point to where they cut themselves. It's absolutely insane and stupid and it seems like it's a cry out for attention. I don't know what kind of attention they want, but it's pathetic. It makes them look so stupd and so conceited and so " look at me, look at me" not everyone needs attention, so they are just gonna have to deal with it. Some people don't have time to think about giving other people attention, therefore those people shouldn't worry about receiving it. I just can't believe people dwell on stupid shit and don't think about what other people go through aroudn the world and they should be lucky for what they have. That they have a roof over their heads, clothes on their back, shoes on their feet, an education, a refrigerator full of food, money to spend on movies and electronics, a television to watch when you are bored, hobbies to indulge in. Some people don't even know what those things mean. I hate the people in america sometimes , they take everything they have for granted and it's pathetic and they dwell on stupid things like...i don't get enough attention from my parents, i don't have a boyfriend, i'm fat, I'M THIS, I'M THAT, I WANT I WANT I WANT, I NEED I NEED I NEED. That is so pathetic. God I hate it! dance with me

[08 Jan 2005|08:55pm] [ mood | but exhausted ] Today was so crazy. It was Anna's birthday and Erika and I planned a surprise birthday party for her. I had to get up early get ready for work and run aroun getting balloons, cameras, cake, etc and the best part was Anna had no idea. She doesn't notice alot of things, it's quite amusing. So we went to the restuarant and set everything up and everyone came and we were excited since we kinda told everyone on short notice because we didn't want it to get out. So then she comes in....because we told her she had to start work early for a party that was coming in. So she came in and asked why is Jenna's, Jessica's, and Brittany's car in the parking lot. And I was just froze, I had no idea what to say and I just made something up and she bought it. So then I ran upstairs and told everyone she was here. So we all hid and she came up and we said the traditional "surprise" and it was awesome. She was so excited and I was so happy her 18th birthday went great. I still had to work, but after we ate, opened presents, and of course had cake...everyone went to a movie and did whatever god knows what, but I had to stay at work until 9:30. Then Anna came and got me and we went to Jenna's house. It was fun and I'm glad her birthday was fun and that she was surprised until she actually showed up. I love you Anna, but that was pretty much my night. dance with me

- So Close...Yet So Far Away - [05 Jan 2005|08:54pm] [ mood | but thinking ] Wow, I never thought so much can go on in 48 hours. Yesterday was awesome, I made it back to swimming finally and I felt my coach was giving me an evil eye...which I don't blame her. I swam like shit yesterday, 5400 yards.....it felt like the beginning of the season...ggrrr I hate that and today it was cancelled which didn't help with my whole new year's resolution plan. Anyways, then gym came around and I was so excited because Stephanie was in my gym now...so I was freaking out until Brandon started talking to me. I'm sure your wondering...why would that be a bad thing, right? Well it wasn't, but then it was. We just got into alot of different things and lets just say the conversation didn't go well. There is so much I want to tell him.....bad and good I guess. Though, some things should be left unsaid. I hate that sometimes when people live in fear or dishonesty. How everyone is afraid to tell the truth and it all falls into place, when people hold back. Hold back on life and what could happen and are never willing to take chances because they are afriad of the outcome. And when they hold back all their lives they always wonder "what if..." I hate that feeling. The feeling of wanting, but knowing you can have. That feeling of wanting to break down and scream out to the world everything your feeling, but know you can't. I hate those feelings and I hate how people are...I hate how I am. P.S. We were so close to having a SNOW DAY, but our superintendent would not allow that one..hopefully tomorrow. dance with me

[03 Jan 2005|08:50pm] Today I was really depressed and made my best effort to avoid everyone. Erika and Stephanie must have called me a thousand times and left so many messages that I lost count. Then Erika decided to call the restuarant to talk to my dad because she had no idea where I was, when they called my house I made it specific to everyone not to answer the phone. Though eventually I had to stop avoiding everything and deal with it. So I called her and we decided the 10 of us were going to go to lunch and get together before classes start again. It has been a while since I've done something with my friends. Well 10 turned into 5 and I had a sudden mood swing. I think that was what I needed , just to get together with my friends. It was so fun and it was like all the depression I was in the day before and that morning just drained out of my body. We ate so much, took tons of pictures, and laughed consistently. It was so fun and it was exactly what everyone needed. It reminded me of that one movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's, except we had lunch. We had a blast and I'm glad they dragged me out of the house...i needed it..... dance with me

- A New Year Disaster - [02 Jan 2005|08:47pm] [ mood | disappointed ] I was laying in my bed thinking about 2004 and how it was such a horrible year. I think back on how I changed...how I used to be and how I know I'm not the same person. Sometimes I search for her and want her back, but you can't go back to the way you were, it's hard. Though I'm afraid, I'm afraid of the person I am now. Sometimes I don't want to be her anymore, but I can't help it...I want to be the girl I used to know, that other people used to know. I also think back on the horrible tragic family events that went on...2004 wasn't a great year, but on New Year's Eve I thought 2005 would get better, but it seems as the years go on all they do is get worse. Dont' get me wrong, it's not like I didn't form new..good..memories, I did, but the bad ones are always in the back of your head and you can't phase them out. Let's just say 2005 didn't start out like I wanted it to....though it was because of my stupid decisions. The decisions I know the girl I used to be most likely wouldn't have made. But that's the price you pay. The people who come in and out of your life influence your actions or decisions whether you realize it or not and change you in a way even if you think you haven't been changed. Or you just change for yourself and you can't help the fact you did or you can't change back because so much stuff has already happened. Change can be a horrible thing, but you can't stop it no matter how much you want to..... dance with me

- Losses You Can't Escape - [29 Dec 2004|08:44pm] [ mood | scared ] Why does life work the way it does? Why do people always think they know what they are doing, though they really don't and most likely end up getting hurt in the end? Yes, I am guilty of it to, but I hate it and I'm smarter now....learning from horrible outcomes helped me alot. Though when you have been there and done that and try to tell your loved ones to be careful because there is a possibility they can be left with scars they never listen. They are so caught up in the moment and experience that nothing matters...whatever you tell them goes through one ear and out the other. And you feel like all this weight is pulling you down and your screaming on the top of your lungs to save that person you love so much,, but they can't hear you. Then the louder you scream the more you lose sight of them......and then they are gone........ dance with me

- When Life Closes A Door, It Opens A Window....NOT- [26 Dec 2004|08:37pm] [ mood | confused ] December 25th was a very interesting day for me, I did a lot of thinking, but then again when don't I? I found out alot of different things that I still don't know whether are good or bad for right now or in the near future. Not only that.....I noticed something...yes I have noticed it before like I'm sure you all have, but this saying " when life closes a door, it opens a window" is such a controversal quote. I mean when everything is going comletely good for someone, where nothing can get any better...they loose it all....just like that. In a blink of an eye. Why is that? Why can't people be happy. Why is it when they are, it isn't for very long and they are totally oblivious by it and think this happiness is going to last forever? Evil is tricky...right when you think you know what it is, it changes its form. Then again so does everything...evil, love, life, people. Or what about people who have doors who have shut in their lives and it is to much to handle that they shelter themselves from having true happiness again? I mean it's only natural, if I lost something or someone who meant the world to me....that I gave my heart to I wouldn't be able to handle that....atleast I don't think I would. I don't know if I believe in that saying or not. Apart of me does and apart of me doesn't. Yes, I am one who believes in "everything happens for a reason" but why? I don't even know if I want to think that way anymore...why....I don't know why. dance with me

- Nothing's Ever Good Enough - [22 Dec 2004|08:36pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Today was horrible. I was woken up at 8:30 am and told I was getting picked up to do a 4H thing ( yes I am in 4H, and yes I am a nerd). So Erika picked me up and we went to her house to meet everyone else and bake cookies for the McHenry Nursing Home. It wasn't so great we were baking from 10-3 all day...it was bad, but then again we had fun. I couldn't resist the temptation to have a flour fight, so that went nicely, but not the cleaning. I wasn't aware that this thing was gonna go all day so when I got home to get ready for swimming my parents refused to take me. Yeah, I know...your probably thinking...what's their deal? Believe me I thought the same thing. I guess they were pissed because I was gone all day for this 4H thing and that I wasn't home to decorate and do all that other crap. Therefore, I was put on house arrest and could not go to swimming. There was yelling, throwing, tears....etc. I'm sick of this shit, I never come first in anything...only when it's convenient for them am I able to do something. They probably just didn't want to drive me, I hate them sometimes. But there's nothing I can do now, swim practice is over. Why did they bother paying for it? I mean seriously...I haven't been there in over a month because of them and it's fucking ridiculous. I can't wait to get the hell out of here...... P.S. Sorry Denise. I miss you and love you so much and I want to see you so bad..and I want to swim! Parents are so overrated. dance with me

[19 Dec 2004|08:33pm] [ mood | cheerful ] Today was Bobby's birthday, he is now 14. It is weird to think that now, that in a year he will be my age and in a few months I'll be driving. He's getting so much older and it's weird to think that because you always think of your younger siblings always staying younger. I don't want to think of him growing up...well in some ways I do. Though I felt bad because a majority of my family is sick right now, so not everyone made it to his family get together bday party. Basically who showed up were me, dad, Tony, Carla, Aunt Sylvia, Uncle Don, Aunty B, GiGi, and Sol. We had fun and I found out alot more about my family that I didn't know about. That's one of the reasons why I love family get togethers. They start talking about the past and then....it brings back memories or things that you never knew before. So lets just say I found out some new stuff and was reminded of good memories that brought back laughs and teary eyes. All in all it was fun and I was happy and even though a majority of our family is infected Bobby had a good time. P.S. Before Tony drove me home Dean came in with Janus ( the chick who looks like a man) and it's funny how he came in with her and couldn't help but stare at me the whole time. I don't even think he's cute anymore even...I don't know. I lost alot of respect for him after this encounter with the woMAN. dance with me

- What A Relief - [17 Dec 2004|10:41am] Today was my last day of finals...whoa! I had geometry and psychology, geometry wasn't that bad actually....I think I did pretty good. Not only that, this morning I was at my locker talking to some people and I was totally out of it and then someone tapped me on my shoulder. Who was it? It was Anthony. I was so shocked. He was like " can we talk" and I was like sure and we started walking down the hall. I'm not going to go into detail, but lets just say he read the letter and I am so relieved. I am so relieved that we got all this stupid drama out of the way and that we are friends again. I love him so much and I'm glad he finally knows that. Not to much more has been going on besides that. I have alot of chores and decorating to do for christmas and sunday is bobby's birthday and monday is the christmas party and Tuesday I can swim again!!! I'm pretty excited. I also have spent 185 dollars on christmas presents and I'm not even done! That's crazy, I've never spent that much money on people before, let alone myself. Oh well. That was four of my paychecks and the one I get tomorrow is towards presents. My goodness. Work was pretty ok today, I had fun as usual. Nothing to exciting happen....well yeah it did, but I'm tired of typing right now...... dance with me

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